Beat Back-to-School Anxiety

Redondo Beach schools are back in session, and after the excitement of shopping for new school clothes and supplies dies down, many children suffer anxiety once the school year actually begins.

Some welcome this fresh start, when big goals are set for the year. For others, these goals and challenges are precisely the reasons they fear returning. School wasn't easy last year, so what makes them believe that this year will be any better?

Use these strategies to ease your child's transition from summer freedom to school structure:

• Talk with your child about what is most daunting about school. Getting to the root of your child's fears and frustrations makes addressing them possible. Once your child has expressed these fears and anxieties, they become something that can be controlled.

• Talk to your child's teacher early. No teacher wants a student to fear school. Good teachers will do what they can to ease your child's concerns. Explaining your child's anxiety and the situations that led to your child's stress last year will allow the teacher to address these concerns right away, helping to calm and motivate your child. If your child feels lonely or shy, ask the teacher to seat your child next to a friendly classmate or someone your child remembers from last year. If sitting still and concentrating are difficult for your child, being open about it will allow the teacher to approach your child with an air of understanding.

• Set small, meaningful goals. For kids who struggle with school, goals such as "I am going to get all A's" or "I will do my homework every night without complaining" might be too far out of reach. More attainable goals include, "I will get out of bed on time tomorrow," "I will greet my teacher with a smile," or "I will ask for help today during the math period." They focus on immediate choices that your child can make, which you can reward immediately.

• Set a regular time for talking with your child. On the way home, during meal times, while walking the dog, before bed, or whenever your schedules allow, create a routine of talking about the day. You can discuss the day's goals, find out about your child's feelings, and help calm anxieties.

• When your child misbehaves, try to understand the behavior before punishing it. Understanding what caused certain behaviors in the past will help you prevent them this year. By talking candidly about behaviors rather than immediately punishing them, you empower your child to change.

• Follow the school day with something fun. The school day is long and minds need time to relax and unwind. Ending each school day with a fun activity is refreshing and renewing and will hopefully relieve the stress of the day. Making fun a part of the daily routine gives a child something to look forward to when the going gets tough at school.

• Learning is fun, and homework (believe it or not) can be, too. At home, make homework assignments and reading assignments as creative, playful and interesting as possible. By working with your child on homework, you can discuss the purpose of the assignments and expand learning opportunities. Collaborative learning is far more effective than solitary learning. Working on assignments with a friend or at a common location in the house with other siblings can also lighten the homework burden.

• Self-control is learned. Making friends, managing anger and frustration, shaking off failure and embarrassment and overcoming anxiety all take practice. Practicing stress management prepares your child to have self-control. During your transition to the school year, such practice is very valuable.

• Be OK with failure. Sustained excellence is a lofty, if not unattainable, goal for anyone. Take the pressure off your child by talking candidly about work that needs improvement, poor scores on tests and slips in behavior. Mistakes are wonderful opportunities for learning. Approach them with this mentality to promote success in the future.

• Love your child. Say and show it often. It's easy to become frustrated with a child who won't "snap out of" a funk, or who is battling school work. When school is difficult, home should be a safe haven. Be on your child's side so he or she will be more likely to take on a challenge.