Define Yourself Through Core Values

Do you often find yourself questioning or thinking about day-to-day issues differently than you usually do? This is listening to your inner guide. Whether or not we realize it, we all have a set of personal core values.

While we were having a conversation at in Redondo Beach, a friend of mine confirmed this. He said that although everyone in his family is a doctor or dentist, he knew his purpose and passion was in sports marketing. He pursued this and is living a successful and fulfilling life.

Most of us have lived our lives doing what is expected of us by society. Each of us learns from what surrounds us; however, we have to ask ourselves whether what we learn really affects our own personal values. Often we can feel conflicted when it comes time to make customary decisions about personal preferences, time and money. When we take the time to process what is really important to us, we can live a life by what we truly believe in.

Values are traits or qualities that are considered worthwhile; they represent your highest priorities and deeply held driving forces. Out values are influenced by everyone we know and everything that has happened to us in our lives, including parents, friends, peers, your reading, religion and more.

When we live by our values, our lives become those of our choosing and not directed by the decisions of others. Our values help us build and maintain our identity as unique individuals. Having well-defined personal core values helps us avoid making choices that work against who we want to be. Our values become a clear set of guidelines for our words and actions, consistently moving us in the direction aligned with our highest priorities.

There are many benefits of living by our own core values:

• When you seek alignment between your words and actions you will feel more fulfilled. Far more important than just articulating your deepest values is demonstrating them. When your values and integrity are in alignment, you will feel fulfilled. Over time, solid neural pathways develop that stimulate certain attitudes and habits, which produce seemingly instinctual “right” actions. These actions are not based on animal instinct; right actions result from human desire and practice.

• Reduce stress and prevent discontent, conflict, frustration and lack of fulfillment by consciously choosing the values by which you want to live. If living a healthy lifestyle is important to you, you will want to consciously choose to eat healthy, exercise daily, ensure you have quality sleep and manage your stress by maintaining balanced life.

• You will find you make better decisions in times of confusion or conflict. The main benefit of knowing your values is that you will gain tremendous clarity and focus. By defining a list of personal values that are truly your own, you’ll be better prepared to make decisions. You’ll focus more on what matters. Discovering your values improves the results you get in those areas that are truly most important to you.

• Your personal core values should encourage you to fulfill your purpose in life. Great personal values that are read daily will uplift and motivate you to take on the day's challenge. Sometimes it can help to reflect on your personal values while enjoying nature such as a walk or run on one of the many trails in Palos Verdes.

• Be part of a growing contribution and choose work and community activities that bring you fulfillment and success.

Keep in mind that values should be long lasting; this is about creating your future. Expect that your values will evolve as you grow, mature and gain life experience. This is not about following the latest fad. If you expect a personal core value to change next week, it likely isn't a top core value.

Next week, we’ll discuss how to define or redefine our core values.