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Health & Fitness

Archaeologists Uncover 3000-Year-Old Pants in China

Archaeologists Uncover 3000-Year-Old Pants in China:  Archaeologists digging in the ancient Yanghai Tombs in China's Tarim Basin have recovered a pair of 3000-year-old pants from the tombs of two men - the first evidence of trouser-wearing.  It appears the men didn’t have the pants very long, because the sales tags were still attached.  All I can saw is, 3000 years is a long time to have to wait for your pants to come back in style, but scientists say its unlikely anyone would wear these pants today because they would make your ass look way too big. 

Florida Officials Use Doughnuts to Count Bear Population:  Florida officials statewide have begun trying to use doughnuts to lure black bears into counting stations so they can get an idea about the size of the population.  So far, only local cops have showed up.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Believes Water Has Feelings:  Gwyneth Paltrow recently wrote on her website “Goop” that she is “fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter,” claiming that tests show water creates more beautiful ice if nice words were used on it.  I just spilled a huge pitcher of water on the floor and I honestly tried to think of something nice to say, but all that came out was $#*/&!  That said, from now on, I do promise to apologize after I flush the toilet.  I suppose we could tell her to jump in the lake, but that might offend the water.

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Presumed Extinct Bat Found After 120 Years:  Researchers have discovered a New Guinea Big-Eared Bat, which hasn’t been seen in 120 years and presumed to be extinct, in Papua New Guinea.  Guess it was just a matter of finding where the bats were “hanging out.”  

Harvard Confirms Book is Covered With Human Skin:  Harvard University has confirmed that tests have shown that one of the three books rumored to be covered in human skin is in fact skin from the back of the unclaimed body of a woman patient who died in a French mental hospital - a common practice at the time.  Wow, talk about “you can’t judge a book by its cover” or “my life is an open book.”  I would assume the most desirable book covers are those without moles or unsightly blemishes.  As for me, I think its finally time to switch to a Kindle or an iPad.

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