I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get inside the Freemason building on Catalina for probably the last six months. I have never seen anyone go in or come out of said building, and rarely are the lights on.
I heard that my grandfather once went inside to deliver a fridge to the Masons many years ago. I also heard that they have a floor, which can be electrified with the push of a button* in order to thwart intruders. It’s obvious to me that they were hiding something, so I decided to get my snoop on**.
Unsure of how to breach the walls of the Masonic Lodge, and in fear of being electrocuted to death*** I decided to summon all of my courage, and knock on the door. Having met a Freemason only once (that I know of) and knowing only what The DaVinci Code (the movie not the book-- I just never got around to reading it) taught me, I assumed that the direct rout was the best one.
I knocked and waited, while I concocted the back story, that I was a lowly journalist, looking to do a piece on old architecture in the Redondo Beach area. There was no answer. I tried the door. It was locked. Clever Masons.
I spent a good fifteen minutes wandering around the building, peeking in windows, trying doors, and looking generally creepy. From what I could tell, the Ark of The Covenant was not outside of the building, and I was not assaulted by the illuminati much to my dismay. If any of my readers are Freemasons, there are only two things I want to know.
1. Do you really have an electro-floor?
2. Do you still have the fridge that my grandfather delivered? If so, what’s in it?
*I have actually heard both of these things.
** Most if not all of my job description involves getting my snoop on, but then again, I would do it for free.
*** Though, if I had to choose a way to die, that would be it.